I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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