So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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