Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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