your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
