hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Houston, we have a blender
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
