So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
