his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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