Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
