Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
