Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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