Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
