You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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