Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
