Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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