I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
