Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You pole danced in your parka.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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