It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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