I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
