It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
