I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have fence marks all over my body
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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