Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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