You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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