I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
