She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
