plz talk dirty to me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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