Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
