Sry I called you an 8
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
