i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
