I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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