I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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