Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
