Your mouth is God's brothel.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
