When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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