i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
