i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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