Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Please, let me fuck your mom
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
