I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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