I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
