i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
