shes about as inviting as chlamydia
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
