The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize