just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
