did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
