I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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