My room smells like vodka and shame
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
