I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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