No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
