why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
