dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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