He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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