I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
