screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's never too late to be topless.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
