A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
