You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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