Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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