i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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