Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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