she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
