I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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