i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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